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Sunday, February 22, 2009

Evite Etiquette

I used to take my invitations very seriously.
I bought pastel cardstock and matching envelopes.
I wove patterned ribbons through holes in the top and carefully tied symmetrical bows.
I knew my guests loved receiving my homemade party announcements and I
prided myself on my creativity and handiwork.

That is, until I went back to work, and time became a precious commodity. Short of announcing birthday parties from a van with a bullhorn attached to the roof, I was struggling for ideas to maintain some invitation dignity without having to forgo sleep.

Thankfully, I discovered Evite.

These guys are brilliant.
Have you ever tried it?

It’s easy and free and even lets you track your rsvp’s via email. You can send messages to guests and gently remind them to “LET ME KNOW IF YOU ARE COMING ALREADY SO I KNOW HOW MUCH BOOZE TO BUY. SHEESH!”

Which brings me to my next point. Everyday, there are some serious Evite fuax pas being committed. This can really piss off a hostess already swamped with “real life,” so please keep in mind the following tips:

1. The hostess can see if you have checked your email and knows that you have read the invitation, then ignored it by failing to rsvp. What the F people? Just say yes or no. It’s not a lifelong commitment. It’s one afternoon. It’s like senior year of high school, with prom only weeks away, and you’re waiting for someone to ask you already. Some people don’t like to wait, okay? It brings up bad memories. *Deep breath*

2. Do not forward the evite to friends and family. I am sure your Aunt Bernice is lovely and that her four great granddaughters have impeccable manners, but they are NOT invited. NO.


3. Uncle Andrew: When your nephew is having a bowling party that costs an arm and a leg, DO NOT put +31 next to your rsvp. It’s not funny when I spend an entire Saturday morning trying to do simple math in order to figure out how suddenly 60 people are coming to the bowling alley, until I am inspired to double check my Evite and realize that you are a giant ass. Just for that, you have to bring two presents: one for monchichi and one for me.


And yes. I just used my blog to call you out.

Just a warning people.

Just a warning.

2 comments:

andrewfitkowski said...

Let me do a little dissecting if you don't mind.. I think I'm allowed to since the article is pretty much about me.

1)Refer to numbers 1, 2, 3, of the submitted blog.

-Wikipedia describes obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) as a mental disorder most commonly characterized by intrusive, repetitive thoughts resulting in compulsive behaviors and mental acts that the person feels driven to perform, according to rules that must be applied rigidly, aimed at preventing some imagined dreaded event; however, these behaviors or mental acts are not connected to the imagined dreaded event.

2) "It’s not funny when I spend an entire Saturday morning trying to do simple math in order to figure out how suddenly 60 people are coming to the bowling alley"

-simple math? Don't you teach simple math as a Kindergarten teacher?

3) “LET ME KNOW IF YOU ARE COMING ALREADY SO I KNOW HOW MUCH BOOZE TO BUY. SHEESH!”

-The last time I checked, you cannot bring alcohol into the bowling alley. It's against their policy.

4) "Some people don’t like to wait, okay?"

-Seems like someone has macrophobia, fear of waiting.


I'm sure you will tell me off again in about 1,2,3,4,5,6 seconds... I'm over it. Way over it. I know, I know... I have been warned.

-Uncle Andrew

Jo said...

If this is what it took to get you to comment on my blog, then it was all well worth it.

Ha!

Plus, every family has a crazy uncle, and judging from your comment, I am pretty sure you are ours.