A Necessary Evil

I dread our daily meeting

tip-toeing down the hallway
holding my breath
regretting yesterday's choices

You are a fearsome foe
illiciting feelings of self-hatred
my self-worth diminishing
the closer I get to your presence

I have tried to make amends
and accept your existance
telling myself that you mean nothing

in the grand scheme of things

and
i make empty promises
about restraint
and starting over
but the resolve lasts only hours
and the familiar pang of
disappointment and despair
slowly creeps back into the crevices of
an obsessive mind

I know I cannot avoid you forever
and so
I make my way towards your perfection

standing still as I wait for your reaction

my eyes half shut while I dare myself to look
as you take your sweet-ass time in making your judgment
having no idea the anguish you are causing

I let out a stifled sigh

Your silence
and nonchalance
are obnoxious
making you
no friend of mine

Tomorrow
you
go
out
the
window.

*You didn't actually think I would post a picture with my weight on there, did you?*
DUH