So What That You Didn't Ask

A bit paranoid.
A little unorganized
The kind of mom that overfills her sons' lunch bags

Heating pads and hot tea are not just for old people
Makeup smudged directly after application
The kind of wife that listens when her husband says "less white granny panties please."

Not phased by the little stuff
because the big stuff takes up too much room
and anyway
there's only 24 hours in a day
I love carbs just a little too much

Sometimes jokes are just jokes
and sometimes I really am trying to fool you
into thinking
that i have all the answers and that
eating peanut butter from the can at midnight doesn't make me feel ashamed

But
I haven't found a streamlined 12 step that
caters to the
um, variety of issues I have been blessed with
and so peanut butter at midnight, straight from the can
seems an inexpensive and immediately self-gratifying way
to not deal with much of anything actually.

I have to step over the thresholds of doorways
just so
but I have perfected public self-control
so don't blink
or
you might miss it

Generous
Forgiving
Grateful that YouTube was not yet invented
when I made those wise choices
in my other life
and that no one
ever dumped me
via text
because I don't think
I would have taken that
well

Hip surgery in sixth grade
they said i was chubby lucky they caught it in time
and I still can't sit
Indian Style, or Criss Cross Applesauce, or whatever the hell we're supposed to call it
because it hurts like hell

I finally have
some color in my wardrobe
and a hairstyle that I probably won't change for a really long time
more self-esteem than I thought possible
friends who can depend on me
and a man who thinks I'm sexy
(he tells me so via text)

Now I just need
to fit into those jeans I bought
before I began to self-medicate with Peter Pan Peanut Butter,
and less doorways
between where I am
and where I'm going to go.