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Wednesday, September 9, 2009

A Necessary Evil

I dread our daily meeting
tip-toeing down the hallway
holding my breath
regretting yesterday's choices

You are a fearsome foe
illiciting feelings of self-hatred
my self-worth diminishing
the closer I get to your presence

I have tried to make amends
and accept your existance
telling myself that you mean nothing
in the grand scheme of things
i make empty promises
about restraint
and starting over
but the resolve lasts only hours
and the familiar pang of
disappointment and despair
slowly creeps back into the crevices of
an obsessive mind

I know I cannot avoid you forever
and so
I make my way towards your perfection
standing still as I wait for your reaction
my eyes half shut while I dare myself to look
as you take your sweet-ass time in making your judgment
having no idea the anguish you are causing

I let out a stifled sigh

Your silence
and nonchalance
are obnoxious
making you
no friend of mine


*You didn't actually think I would post a picture with my weight on there, did you?*


Elise said...

Hon- I stopped befriending that on along time ago. Felt it was better to maintain my sanity. LOL

Crystal D said...

I do not acknowledge that friend.

TUC said...

I don't even own one, lol.

Melissa Austin said...

You crack me ... funny lady!