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Thursday, August 6, 2009

At Least You Don't Need Teeth to Type.

People.

Take care of your teeth.

Because if you don't and you end up with a toothache and you go to the dentist thinking you have a cavity and she looks at your x-rays and does this little slow, displeased nod and then tells you that she is referring you to an oral surgeon for extraction and to not worry because these are the two furthest back teeth in your mouth and you still have a gorgeous smile and no one will notice and if it really bothers you you can get implants someday and then you go to the oral surgeon the next day with your best friend and your legs feel like jello and they numb you up so that you can't swallow and you are beginning to panic and then you hear a bunch of cracking and feel enough pressure to see stars and then you go home and lay down and can't move and finally look in the mirror and your face is the size of a small country and you keep hearing family members making "denture" references and you use your experience as a scare tactic to get your almost-six-year-old to brush his teeth longer then three seconds and you spend the day feeling uber sorry for yourself because you are only 32 and you feel like a homeless lady because you are two teeth short..........
well, that would just suck, wouldn't it?

This PSA is brought to you by someone who is going to love and nurture the crap out of the teeth she has left.

And i'm thinking that I ought to get diamonds from the tooth fairy.
Like a boatload.

And I dare you to make denture jokes.

7 comments:

JJ said...

I am long over due for a visit to the denist and this post just pushed it back another 2 years. Thanks for putting the fear of god into me. lol.

So can we start calling you "Toothless Jo" now??

Crystal D said...

OOOhhhhh, I am so sorry that SUCKS. I too am going through tooth drama right now on one back tooth that I had "refilled" with composite about 6 weeks ago... then NEVER quit hurting... went for a root canal... except he said I didn't need one... so I went for a cap on my "cracked" tooth... but it was still hurting for the next 2.5 weeks... blah blah blah. Oh did I mention I wasn't having any pain at all when I had it refilled? Anyway, yeah teeth are no fun at all.

moni said...

OK I am so up-ing the amount of times I floss to daily!
Feel better dollface!

Kat said...

That pretty much sounds like me. Except my teeth weren't extracted they had root canals. Still, I don't go to the dentist unless my face is falling off. Too scary.

Hope you are feeling better!

Abez said...

My teeth and I have this love-hate relationship- I would love to keep them, but they hate me and keep trying to abandon ship. I have no more wisdom teeth, and the last one that was extracted the dentist used so much force he dislocated my jaw, which then spasmed and I couldn't put my teeth together for almost a week! So yeah. Be good to your teeth, because they are untrustworthy and fickle in their loyalties!

T.J. said...

Hahahahaha!
'Face the size of a small country!'

Love it!

Bruce Bills said...

Like wow, you just summarized the whole deal with taking good care of the teeth. Yep, we shouldn't neglect our chompers if we want to avoid a host of problems. A night of excruciating toothache is no fun at all!