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Thursday, April 22, 2010

Another Name for Coward is Daniel Dorn

I want one hour in a locked room with a schmuck named Daniel Dorn.
Don't know who I'm talking about?  You can read all about it here

His now ex-wife, Abbie Dorn, went into cardiac arrest and suffered brain damage while delivering their triplets four years ago.  A year after her injuries were sustained, he decided to "move on" with this life, and filed for divorce.

I don't  begrudge him that.  I cannot imagine having to care for three little ones while my spouse requires around the clock care.  Even though most of us married folks exchanged vows on that blessed day that stated we will stay together "till death do us part," unforeseen and tragic circumstances beyond our control, such as this one, can alter our good intentions and well laid plans.  I can sympathize with this man wanting to focus on his babies while grieving the loss of his wife as he knew her, believing in his heart that she would never again regain the full use of her mental faculties. I do not proclaim to know the pain he endured.  Nor do I ever want to.

But to not allow this young woman to have any contact with her children, whether they are recognized by the court as being legally so or not, is an unspeakable act of malice by a man who can only be described as a coward.

She will never hold them against her beating chest, whispering sweet nothings in their ears.  She will never wipe their tears from their eyes as she mends a playground boo-boo.  She will never read Goodnight Moon and lull them to sleep with off-key renditions of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.  And no.  She will never be their "legal guardian," as defined by the courts.

But she is their Mother.
Whether she is on a feeding tube or not.

Even heroin-addicted prostitutes are given endless opportunities to screw up their kids.

This woman is being denied any contact with her children. 
Has not seen them for years.
As if she has perpetrated some God-awful crime.

He claims he does not want to traumatize his children.
Children are taught to fear what they do not know by the adults in their lives.
These kids are only four years old and what they are able to tolerate and withstand outside of the bubble their father has created for them is only limited by his own misrepresentation of the circumstances.
This is a man driven by ignorance and fear.  And the longer these children are kept from seeing their mother, the more likely they are to catch his awful disease.

The smell of their hair.
The twinkle in their eyes.
The sound of their unfiltered laughter.

Who  is he to say that this woman is undeserving of experiencing these things?  And who is he to say that she, as well as her children, will come away from such visits with nothing gained, nothing to treasure?

What disgusts me the most, is that he would probably be more comfortable allowing the children to visit her had she not survived and was buried in a local cemetery.

Dare I say, Mr. Dorn, that someday, your three preschoolers will be able to decide for themselves, just what kind of father "protects" them from their severely disabled mother.

I just want one hour dude. 

No weapons.
Just the rage and pain of a mother unable to see her kids (on behalf of your ex-wife, of course).

Never mind.

You don't stand a chance.

***Update***
Thank you everyone for your comments. As of yesterday, March 25th, 2011, Abbie Dorn has been granted five supervised visitations per year, as well as the ability to "communicate" with her children via Skype. The judge noted that the children developed a bond after visiting their mom for the first time and held her photo close to them. Daniel is also to keep a photo of Abbie in the kids' rooms as part of the court order. My heart swells with joy for Abbie, and I continue to hope and pray that with time, her visitations will increase. No matter what the future holds for Abbie, being in the presence of her precious children can only provide her with the kind of strength, hope, and love that only a mother's heart knows. And as far as the children are concerned, being able to connect with their mom in a way that is unique to their circumstances is infinitely better than keeping them away from her because she is frightening in some way. The logic behind such thinking is what contributes to a society that believes disabled individuals are somehow less deserving and valuable than the rest of us. I pray that EVERYONE, including Daniel, find peace with this situation, so that the entire family can move forward and heal.
  

14 comments:

OHmommy said...

I was so sad after reading the story. I have a feeling the children will resent their father in the long run. I know I would. There must be a way that children can adapt to her handicapp. Kids are easily adaptable.

Denise said...

PS- He is asking for child support from her as well..

Melanie said...

If you look him up on zabasearch.com you'll see he lives in Beverly Hills too.

A.C. Hegeman said...

Asking for child support from her - how does that work?

Crystal D said...

Oh this makes me sick to my stomach. When they are older, his children are really going to resent him for keeping them from any time with their mother. How dare he think this is the right thing to do and how dare the courts go along with this decision.

Anonymous said...

AGREED. what a dick head. whether their mother is lucid or not, she is their mom. god forbid she pass and they never have an opportunity to meet them. he's a dick head for divorcing her while she's in this state, and a bigger dick head for hurting his wife and kids from knowing each other. so stupid....damn.

azriela said...

So sweet of you to sympathize with his situation, but to call this man a coward? Really?
Perhaps you have never seen him leaving work early on a Tuesday afternoon to take his triplets on a trip to the park. It is so easy for all of you to judge him for seeking child support, or making the thoughtful decision to postpone his children's interactions with their incapacitated mother until they are more psychologically capable of processing such an experience.
Melanie- while you are sitting and searching on Zaba or what ever other website you have the time to peruse, this father is taking care of his triplets round the clock.
It is so fascinating that you would be sick to your stomach, Crystal. How much sicker to his stomach do you think that this father was when his beloved wife went brain dead and he was left alone to take care of 3 children?
Wow- it is just so easy to judge when you are not in someone else's situation.
Hopefully, for you, you never will be!

Tunger said...

@azriela - perhaps coward is not the right descriptor. In all other respects, this is a very well reasoned post. Taking of care of children without a spouse is infinitely difficult. I know this from experience. Having something tragic happen to someone you love is also infinitely painful. I also know this from experience. How Daniel Dorn has chosen to deal with the situation that he, his wife, their children, and their families have been dealt is despicable and cruel in it's selfishness. It is inhumane. It belittles the sacrifice this woman made to give birth to his children, their children. Today marks a victory for her and her children. Life can be a source of interminable pain and struggle. But nothing that has happened to Daniel Dorn can ever justify the cruel decisions he has made.

marloreneephotography said...

@azriela
So because he gets up like the entire rest of the world and takes care of his kids he get to keep them from their mother? He is less than a coward. And you are an airhead.

Anonymous said...

The idea of this man brings the fantasy of wraping my hands around his neck, and pressing my thumbs equaly into his adams apple. Until life leaves his body. Theres no way this guys chosen. These kids are in danger of being brought up by a soulless man with a lack of compassion. For his wife or children. Also the oath he took before God! They belong with the Grandmother. Hopefully he will die before the children get any older, and learn his evil ways. Shit why can't we just stone him in the streets like he deserves. Not that I'm without sin, but give me the first stone and I'll get it started.

Anonymous said...

does anyone know his address? please post it if You do.

Shelly said...

I just read about this today. I agree with you! The father is just unbelievably cruel. He says that the mom is in a vegetative state and the Neurologist said that she is able to respond. My heart aches for the mom.

Anonymous said...

He is cold cold cold and his poor children are growing up with a man lacking in compassion. And he is seeking child support - Give him an "Ass of the Year" award!

Jo Ashline said...

Thank you everyone for your comments. As of yesterday, March 25th, 2011, Abbie Dorn has been granted five supervised visitations per year, as well as the ability to "communicate" with her children via Skype. The judge noted that the children developed a bond after visiting their mom for the first time and held her photo close to them. Daniel is also to keep a photo of Abbie in the kids' rooms as part of the court order. My heart swells with joy for Abbie, and I continue to hope and pray that with time, her visitations will increase. No matter what the future holds for Abbie, being in the presence of her precious children can only provide her with the kind of strength, hope, and love that only a mother's heart knows. And as far as the children are concerned, being able to connect with their mom in a way that is unique to their circumstances is infinitely better than keeping them away from her because she is frightening in some way. The logic behind such thinking is what contributes to a society that believes disabled individuals are somehow less deserving and valuable than the rest of us. I pray that EVERYONE, including Daniel, find peace with this situation, so that the entire family can move forward and heal.