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Sunday, October 25, 2009

Inequality in Shopping: A Case Study

Subject 1 contacts Subject 2 for a Saturday afternoon excursion to local Target.

Subject 2 quickly agrees and wipes drool from face.

Subject 1 and 2 enjoy Starbucks pit stop to fortify themselves prior to entering said Target. 

Subject 1 attempts to hog radio station selection.  Subject 2 quickly asserts herself and after brief scuffle during which Subject 1 almost runs into a pole, both subjects come to an agreement on Lady Gaga tune.

Subject 1 thinks she is Lady Gaga.  Subject 2 is disgusted.

Subjects arrive at destination and enter through automatic doors.  Large red cart is located and retreived.

Subject 1 begins to make her way towards lingerie section.

Subject 2 follows suit but makes detour to pick up some family necessities.

Subject 2 tries not to stare at Subject 1's underwear choice, which is clearly slutty and inappropriate.

Subject 1 heads to makeup and self-care aisle.

Subject 2 heads to pullupswipescheeseitsyogurtfruitsnacktylenollunchablelaundrydetergent aisle.

Subjects reconvene at check-out.


Please refer to Exhibit A
















Subject 1's purchases.

Clearly Subject 1 enjoyed her shopping experience





















Please refer to Exhibit B.
















Subject 2's purchases. 

Subject 2 was obviously annoyed during her shopping experience, but tried hard to put on a brave face.




















Subject 1 and 2 depart from Target.

Subject 1 feels fulfilled and energized.

Subject 2 feels like she belongs in Walmart.

Subject 1 is perky and perfect.

Subject 2 wants to kick her ass.

Findings:

Study shows obvious inequality in staged shopping trip between a single, sexy, she-devil, and her shorter,  more domesticated, granny-panty-wearing sibling.

Solution:

Subject 2 shops alone.  Or via internet.

Subject 1 can suck it.


9 comments:

Aggie said...

is it about the panties, cause i havent worn them yet so if you play your cards right, they might end up in your stocking this year...I love you =) lets go to nordstrom next time and see what happens there.

Lisa said...

so funny

OHmommy said...

Hysterical Jo! Needless to say, I can relate.

moni said...

LMAO you two are hilarious! Love it!

JJ said...

You know you're a grown up when....

*Fun Halloween Dish towel purchase excites you more than a case of beer.


*A sale on detergent leaves you more satisfied than a Duke's breakfast burrito.


*Your G-String is replaced by a better "G" style. It's called Granny panties. HEY! They are comfortable!

*You ENJOY shopping....at Target.

I am not a mom yet but I feel ya Jo!

Kat said...

Hahaha!!!! Those undies are cute but they look uncomfortable. I think that probably makes me fall into the Subject 2 category, huh? ;)

Ewa said...

Love the gacie!

Jen said...

My first visit to your blog, & what a hilarious entry!!!

Mrs. Smith said...

OMG. This is EXACTLY what it is like when I go shopping with my sister who is 8 years younger than me! Hilarious!