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Monday, August 23, 2010

I Do Okay (For the Most Part)

I do okay

(for the most part).

I trust that the world will see us through

though I know, from experience, that if we expect perfection

we will be sorely disappointed, time and time again.

I wake in the mornings

mindful not to dread what’s ahead

focusing instead (for the most part)

on growing the tiny seed of hope and gratitude, which flounders

under the shadow of the more persistent and powerful fear and

anxiety (which comes so easily, so naturally).

So I do okay

(for the most part).

I have yet to drag you off the bus

as you face LIFE, looming with unpredictability

with a toothy grin

changing my mind at the last second

that the only place you belong, is right here, in my arms.

Then I read a story like this

and the only sound I hear

is my quickened heartbeat

the only sight I see

is your tiny frame against the harsh backdrop of instability

the only thing I think

is that I will never let you out of my sight again

and the

only thing I know

is that 

if anyone ever messes with you like that

Game. Over.

 

Other than that

I do okay

(for the most part).

*be sure to offer your support to this family as they endure this heartache.  visit the link above and leave a message for Kim Stagliano.

 

2 comments:

Lisa "Spiral" Niemann said...

I am at a loss...that story almost made me throw up. Trev and I have been reluctant to hire a babysitter for fear that our barely verbal 15 month old would be hurt without our knowledge and then to apply that to a lifetime... I can't begin to understand but I can empathize with that fear...a lifetime of "what ifs?". You, and parents like you, are remarkable for your ability to subdue that fear for the sake of your child's growth. I admire you greatly. And I hope for a world where your fear is not needed. Where a child, regardless of needs, is special, sacred, and safe.

Kat said...

Jo, thank you for posting this. I follow Kim on FB & Twitter but I haven't been online regularly, so I would have never known. One of the reasons I follow her is because she is one of the very few mothers I've run into with daughters with autism. I have a barely verbal 10 year old and I am always fearful that someone will take advantage of her.

I try not to let the fears overwhelm me. I trust & I pray because I don't know what else to do.

When I read stories like this, it makes me sick to my stomach.