The (Not So) Soothing Sounds of the Rainforest

So, a good friend’s mom was purging some old cd’s and I got first pick the other day.
I was mostly looking for music that would appeal to Andrew; that would soothe, stimulate, and engage him at home or in the car.

There was a wide variety to choose from; classical, soft rock, even some compilations of popular numbers from well-known musicals.  I also happened upon a cd entitled “The Soothing Sounds of the Rainforest,” and snatched it up; Lord knows this family could benefit from some soothing sounds every once in a while.

Tuesday afternoon, while driving to Andrew’s physical therapy appointment, Ian saw the stack of cd’s and asked if he could pick one out to play in the car.  I said sure and he ended up choosing the Rainforest one.  We put it in the cd player and listened as the “soothing sounds” filled the car:

A pleasant yet subtle symphony of exotic birds, chirping in the tree tops, their tiny beaks paying homage to nature in joyous harmony .

A soft wind gently caressing the luscious green leaves of environmentally sacred plants and flowers as they danced in unison to the aforementioned bird song.

A child being tortured, yelling out in pain for it’s mother to come save him from the clutches of some wild-eyed jungle baboon who has kidnapped him and is forcing him to pick rainforest-sized bugs off it’s
rainforest-sized baboon butt.

@##$%?!!!

The serenity was replaced with a series of hot flashes, heart palpitations, a desperate desire to rescue this forsaken child, and a sudden, intense, urge to pee my pants as a rush of water filled the tiny speakers of the car.

Now, I may sometimes take creative liberty when I write on this blog, you know, to make it more entertaining for you, so I wouldn’t blame you if you thought that I was full of crap.

Which is why I recorded a portion of what we heard so that you too can experience the “Soothing Sounds of the Rainforest.

The (Not So) Soothing Sounds of the Rainforest from Jo Ashline on Vimeo.


I'm afraid to listen to the rest, especially track #4, which is entitled, "Soothing Sounds of the Rainforest Predators Feasting Upon Their Prey, or track #11, "Soothing Sounds of the Ginormous Rainforest Spiders Crawling on Unassuming and Stupid Tourists.