Goodbye Pretzels and Pudding

In March of 2004, a week after monchichi's 2nd birthday, our precious first-born was officially diagnosed with Autism. Superman was 7 months old, asleep in his carseat when the two psychologists assigned to us said what we already knew. Two months later, after a week filled with non-stop seizures, monchichi was branded epileptic.

Trader Joe's made a killing as I began to live off of their "Two Buck Chuck" merlot. I still went to playdates. I still went to Target. I still fed and dressed my two beautiful boys. But I was not living. I was barely breathing. I was only existing.

Four years later, we all wear our scars proudly. My family is thriving, not just surviving. Our love for one another deepens with each day. I had no idea there was that much love in the world, or that it would one day end up in my very home. We live each day the only way we know how. With laughter, and love, and faith. And lots of ABA therapy for monchichi.

But the time has come to spread our wings and look for alternative methods to treating his autism. While he remains non-verbal, our precious angel is making great strides and as one wonderful fellow special-needs mommy told me "you don't want to leave any stone unturned."

So with checkbook in hand, we met our Defeat Autism Now Doctor yesterday morning, for our 120 minute consult. I came out with an empty look in my eyes and a thick folder filled with notes and scribbles and question marks. It is official. We are putting our pudding-pretzel-loving son on the Gluten-Free/Casein-Free diet. Ugh.

I feel so evil for doing this. Years ago, when we were first diagnosed, I went to Whole Foods and spent an entire paycheck on GFCF food. I came home and sampled it and one by one, the boxes and jars and containers landed in our garbage can. I swore that our son would never be forced to eat "that" stuff. He has so much going against him. The last thing I was ever going to do was to take away his favorite foods.

But something (mother's intution?) has been nagging at me for years and so I have finally given in. Today I went through our cupboards and boxed up "banned" foods and put them in the storage closet for Ian and the husband. Tomorrow we venture back to Whole Foods with my highlighted list in hand. I am not expecting a miracle to occur because we stopped feeding our son bread. But if it gives him that one little boost that he needs to meet one more little milestone on this journey of recovery, then by all means, we will eat (gulp) the wonderful food that the GFCF diet has to offer.

Be aware. I will be posting about this. Alot.