Whatever Happened to Mary and Her Freakin Lamb?

Maybe I'm just being overly dramatic (completely out of character, I know) but I'm thinking that these little cd sets featuring kids singing mainstream music are sort of....inappropriate.

I don't know about you, but lyrics such as these just don't sound right coming from singers who still need help wiping the doodie from their behinds:

Ain't got a care in the world
But got plenty of beer
Ain't got no money in my pocket
But i'm already here
And now the dudes are lining up cause they hear we've got swagger
But we kick em to the curb 'less they look like Mick Jagger

I'm talking 'bout everybody getting crunk, crunk
Boys wanna touch my junk, junk
Gonna smack him if he's getting too drunk, drunk

Superman loves to sing along to the commercials for these cd sets and for some reason, it disturbs me when I hear my first grader belting out:

her booty was bootylicious
we hit da club
and she tasted delicious
foshizzy
Nothin like drinkin Crown Royale
up in this hizzy*

I'm not sure what to think.
Maybe I am overreacting.
Music is completely harmless right?  I mean, Britney Spears turned out okay....and Kurt Cobain......and um, hmmm.....Elvis??

Now that I think about it, maybe it's time I explore different genres in my kindergarten classroom.  Yes!  I think I'll bring in my old Madonna cds!  Nothing like a little "Like a Virgin" during circle time to get the 'ol six and under crowd going!

In fact, if we play our cards right, my class could be featured on the next "Shake Your Rump and Other Bootie-Related Classics, Volume 10."

Now if you'll excuse me.
I have some explicit lyrics to gather lesson planning to do.

*Original lyrics.  PDiddy:  Call me!

Mommy Math: Preventing Teen Pregnancies, One Equation at a Time

5:35 a.m.

plus

2 cranky and starving offspring

minus

4 hours of sleep

multiplied by

3 overflowing laundry hampers

divided by

0 nannies and/or housekeepers

raised to the power of

10 short order meals

carrying over the

2 cases of Impetigo

quantified by

x( "MoooooooommmmmmmyI'mBooooooooooooored.")
___________________________________________
y("Iswearifyoudon'tSHUTitI'mgoingtocomedownthereand....")

equals

the

"Imayhaveglorifiedmytwoweekspringbreakjustatadandnowi'mstuckwithtwoveryneedyshortpeoplesopleasesendhelpandifyouareahorny
teenagerreadingthiskeepyourpantsonfortheloveofGodTheorem."


I think this kind of math is way more useful to the 13-19 year old crowd; Algebra II just doesn't give the whole picture, you know?

I tell ya.

Give me enough time and I can solve just about anything via a horrifying glimpse joyous illustration of motherhood.