Adaptive Doesn't Have to Mean Butt Ugly

Dude.

I was just surfing the internet, trying to gather some information on adaptive bicycles (which by the way cost about the equivalent of a suburban mortgage payment) and other such equipment, and it has come to my attention that there is a very real and very hideous movement going on.

What the hell is this?
http://www.adaptivemall.com/specneedtric.html

Englarge the photo.
What do you see?
Nope.  Not the bike.
 
The MULLET.

Why does the neurotypical friend/sibling have a decent haircut and a fashion-forward t-shirt depicting characters from a favorite Disney Pixar film?

Why is the boy on the adaptive bike sporting a mullet and a tie dyed monstrisity reminiscent of a bad trip?

Who is the marketing crackhead that approved this photo?

Here's another.
http://www.especialneeds.com/home.php

Wait about ten seconds. 
The image will flash on your screen.
Three children with special needs with really bad haircuts.

I don't know.  To me, special needs kids are just as deserving of a decent hairstyle as the next kid.  Especially if you're going to be on an advertisment.  When was the last time Walmart had models with mullets?  I mean, even Walmart  (which, let's be honest, is a total Mullet Magnet) knows better than that.

Now, I know there's always a flipside.  Of course I don't think we should use perfectly poised neurotypical children modeling chew rings in their  mouths or flashing dazzling smiles as they're photographed  being strapped into a cocoon-like hammock designed for meltdowns.  There is nothing shameful about the very real and very unique needs of our amazing children and they ought to always represent our diverse community honestly and relevently in print and television ads.

But  what does that have to do with each person's God-given right to a fair and equal haircut?

I say Enough!
Bring on the buzzers!
Bust out the shears!
Put the bowl back in the kitchen cupboard and quit using it as a cutting template!

I'm so irked, I may not finish my rice noodles tonight.
Carbs.
I am turning down carbs people.

Now you know I'm pissed.



*Please.  Before you get all huffy and politically correct on my @ss, remember
a.  I'm a mom of a special needs kid
b.  He has a great haircut
c.  This is MY blog, so neener, neener, neener,
d.  I am right.  You are not.
e.  The title of the post is not referring to our kids, dummy.  It's a call to action on their behalf.  DUH.

But Wait! There's More!

Superman has discovered Informercials. 
In other words, Dammit.
Instead of getting up when his favorite show is being interrupted by the latest plea to purchase some oddball invention, he sits in front of the television, mesmerized by the possibilities being presented by someone who always sounds as if his Immodium has worn off and he's on the verge of a major bathroom faux pas.

"Call Now!
 Don't wait!
"Pick up the phone and order Today."
"Right now. In the next two minutes!"
"Do it before I poop in my pants!"

The urgency is not lost on my son.

"Mom!  Hurry and write this number down.  It's a toothpaste holder and there's NO mess and it gives you the PERFECT amount of toothpaste everytime!!" 

"Hey mom. I think I feel a draft. We must get the Twin Draft Guard. It's simple to install! It never needs adjusting! It has an airtight seal! Do you realize the amount of money you could be saving on your heating and cooling needs?"

"Mommy!!!!  Quick!  Look!  We have to order the hover disk now before they run out!  Oh My Gosh, we have to order in the next FOUR minutes or the police will come to our house and take us away to jail!"

"I don't know how we've survived so long without the Mr. Steamy!  It's like we're living in the dark ages.  I've been meaning to tell you that my clothes are unsightly due to persistant wrinkles.  Clearly I cannot possibly be expected to go back to school until you resolve this mess by purchasing the Mr. Steamy right now, using your Visa or Mastercard, for only $19.99 plus shipping and handling which also includes your free gift, a glow in the dark denture box!"

After comingthisclose to convincing me that we need the Mr. Steamy or our lives will be forever unmanageable, the next step is quite clear.

He's going into sales.

I'm on the phone ordering the No Workout Ab Flexor Meal Maker Dust Blaster Poop Wiper 2000.

What?

There's only three minutes left.