ShareThis
When you are leaving a restroom after a side by side stall conversation with a coworker:
“Hope everything comes out okay” or “Good Luck” or “I Win!”
When you are handing your kindergarten students back over to their parents:
“Hail Mary, Full of Grace, Lord Have Mercy.” or “ Thank God! It’s about time!”
When your wife is shoving Hershey Kisses down her throat at the approximate speed of light:
“Honey, are you sure you want to eat that?”
When you have to run home because you have Autism Parent Training:
“I have to hurry; my therapist is waiting for me.”
(This is especially true of conversations with the aforementioned families of your students)
When your husband comes home from work:
“Honey, I went to Target today. Do you want to see the receipt?!”
When your son wants to play with a child you don’t approve of:
“No, honey, Billy is a brat and his parents are obviously doing a bad job raising him.” “In fact, I’m pretty sure his mom is a practicing alcoholic and is having an affair with Brad’s dad.”
When you are offered a leadership position on a committee at work:
“Okay!”
*Because I’m pretty sure I will have more examples along the way.........
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
What Teaching Kindergarten Has Taught Me
Little people have big opinions
Unsupervised glitter is………it’s too ugly to describe. Just believe me when I say that it will make you weep with sorrow and leave you in craft table clean-up hell.
Children hear what their parents talk about. Then they repeat it. At school. To anyone who will listen. I’m just saying……
It takes a five year old merely seconds to permanently lose a glue stick lid ; they may as well sell them that way.
Kindergarten is not an introduction to college prep. My job is to make sure your child falls in love with learning. Let the upper grade teachers be the bad guys. I prefer playdoh to standardized testing. If they don’t know the alphabet by now, choosing the right college is probably not going to be an issue. (KIDDING).
If you send your child to school with any of the following, you better bring a class set:
Balloons
Candy
Bouncing rubber balls
Rubber bands
Paper hats
Glittery pens or pencils
Lint
In other words, anything that is not already part of the classroom.
Otherwise I welcome you to sub for the day.
They show no mercy for the weak. And substitutes.
Five year olds have incredible memories. Nothing gets by them. They’re like miniature PDA’s only they remind you of all of the things you DON’T want to do, like reading David Gets In Trouble for the tenth time.
Kindergarteners do not care what your name is. You must be prepared to answer to “Teacher, Mommy, Grandma, and even Great-Aunt Florence twice removed.”
They have the attention span of five-year olds: NONE.
They have two volumes:
Loud and “Holy Crap!”
Bribery works. Really Well.
Teachers use bribes. A Lot. If your teacher says she doesn’t, she is LYING.
If you want to learn how to forgive and forget, spend ten minutes on the Kindergarten playground. They can feud and be best friends all in the same sentence. It’s bizarre, but maybe they’re onto something.
They are small but mighty and they remind me each day that if Kindergarteners ruled the world, we’d wear capes to work, eat donuts for dinner, and glitter would replace fuel as the hot commodity.
Not a bad place to live if you ask me.
Unsupervised glitter is………it’s too ugly to describe. Just believe me when I say that it will make you weep with sorrow and leave you in craft table clean-up hell.
Children hear what their parents talk about. Then they repeat it. At school. To anyone who will listen. I’m just saying……
It takes a five year old merely seconds to permanently lose a glue stick lid ; they may as well sell them that way.
Kindergarten is not an introduction to college prep. My job is to make sure your child falls in love with learning. Let the upper grade teachers be the bad guys. I prefer playdoh to standardized testing. If they don’t know the alphabet by now, choosing the right college is probably not going to be an issue. (KIDDING).
If you send your child to school with any of the following, you better bring a class set:
Balloons
Candy
Bouncing rubber balls
Rubber bands
Paper hats
Glittery pens or pencils
Lint
In other words, anything that is not already part of the classroom.
Otherwise I welcome you to sub for the day.
They show no mercy for the weak. And substitutes.
Five year olds have incredible memories. Nothing gets by them. They’re like miniature PDA’s only they remind you of all of the things you DON’T want to do, like reading David Gets In Trouble for the tenth time.
Kindergarteners do not care what your name is. You must be prepared to answer to “Teacher, Mommy, Grandma, and even Great-Aunt Florence twice removed.”
They have the attention span of five-year olds: NONE.
They have two volumes:
Loud and “Holy Crap!”
Bribery works. Really Well.
Teachers use bribes. A Lot. If your teacher says she doesn’t, she is LYING.
If you want to learn how to forgive and forget, spend ten minutes on the Kindergarten playground. They can feud and be best friends all in the same sentence. It’s bizarre, but maybe they’re onto something.
They are small but mighty and they remind me each day that if Kindergarteners ruled the world, we’d wear capes to work, eat donuts for dinner, and glitter would replace fuel as the hot commodity.
Not a bad place to live if you ask me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
